The Legend Evolves:
Today our team has expanded rapidly. We will neither confirm nor deny the tale that Paddywagon Drivers are taken from their parents at the age of 6 and brought to the Isle of Skye in Scotland and trained by the warrior woman Scathach in the art of war-making and social intercourse and then unleashed on the world of Irish tourism (you can decide that during your adventure in Ireland). We will however try to introduce you to some of the present clan below - Irelands finest Tour Guides!

Paddywagon Drivers are known throughout the world as being many things - Celtic Chieftains, Warrior-Poets, Gaelic Princesses and by several grandiose titles we'll keep quiet for now! Their competence and professionalism is renowned. Their ability as drivers and professional Tour leaders is our great source of Irish Pride. All are 100% Irish and are committed to the Paddywagon Travel Philosphy.

• 

• Don

  
  

  Position:
  King of Dublin
  
  Biography:
  Much Loved by all in the Company, Don is one of our most experienced Tour Leaders. Famed for his relaxed, calm and competent guiding style. Don is well travelled and has visited most parts of the globe. Don oversees all our operations in the Dublin region, our busiest hub. When not on tour, Don can be found in a cave planning itineraries for our many private groups.

• 

• Gabriel

  
  

  Position:
  King of The Kingdom
  
  Biography:
  A true Kerryman, Gabriel is a veteran of the 6 Day South. When he is not terrifying people with his Traditional Irish Lady Gaga Tribute Songs he can be found at a high altitude organising our transport department. He has stopped using a mobile phone as he believes it is bad for the environment.

• 

• Mark Funky!

  
  

  Position:
  King of Bulbs!
  
  Biography:
  Mark (aka Funky) is a regular guide on our 6 day adventures. As well as guiding, he is an expert mechanic and can fix anything. If a bulb goes anywhere in the fleet, Funky is zapped there to replace it within three minutes.

• 

• Martin - Fitzy!

  
  

  Position:
  King of Karaoke!
  
  Biography:
  A very serious member of our team, there is no messing with Fitzy. The only exception to this is when he gets near a Karaoke Machine. You can not stop him then! Go Fitzy! Fitzy also has considerable Marketing Expertise from his previous career, and helps the marketing department with many campaigns.

• 

• Mike C

  
  

  Position:
  King of Training
  
  Biography:
  As well as being one of our most popular Tour Guides, Mike also looks after our extensive training programs. On Graduation from Mike's academy our cadets are awarded a PHD - Paddywagon History Diploma.

• 

• Mike W

  
  

  Position:
  King of Cork
  
  Biography:
  Mike is happiest when guiding a group around Ireland, and has special expertise in the South-West. When not on a tour, Mike oversees operations in the Cork region, from a secret location on an offshore Island. He also works with the Business Development and Customer Service teams.

• 

• Seanie

  
  

  Position:
  King of Cool!
  
  Biography:
  Seanie from county Kerry is the most relaxed of the Paddywagon Guides. Seanie can normally be found guiding 6 day tours all over Ireland. Seanie's unique Kerry accent is in high demand!

• 

• Barry

  
  

  Position:
  Cranes Expert/Tour Chieftain
  
  Biography:
  Barry, had a calling to leave the world of construction design, and join the Paddywagon Clann. Winning the award for the best dressed Paddywagon guide, was the highlight of 2012 for Barry. Now an established and popular member of our team, Barry is a regular on our 6 Day Tours. However, during term time, Barry is a weekend warrior, as he is back studying again. Can someone please find out what he is studying - he is keeping it top secret.

• 

• Darren

  
  

  Position:
  Beany Expert/Tour Chieftain
  
  Biography:
  Darren's has rarely been seen without his signature beany hat. Many tourists have tried to take one of his hats home as a souvenir but rarely succeed. Darren's calm and relaxing guiding style has made him one of our most popular guides. You will often find him guiding our longest tours all over Ireland!

• 

• Freddie

  
  

  Position:
  Chieftain of Blarney
  
  Biography:
  Freddie's favourite tour is our trip from Dublin to Blarney and Cork. Every time he goes to Blarney Castle, he insists on kissing the stone, and so has earned the name "Chieftain of Blarney." Shy at heart , Freddie says he needs lots of help from the stone.

• 

• Gavin

  
  

  Position:
  Tour Chieftain/Energy Expert.
  
  Biography:
  A proud Dubliner, Gavin is a very popular member of our team. We are all trying to work out where he gets all his energy from! He loves to lead groups all over Ireland, but the Giant's Causeway is his favorite Irish Site. His favorite destination to go to on holidays is Croatia, and he loves the local culture!

• 

• Joe

  
  

  Position:
  Big Joe
  
  Biography:
  The longest serving of the Clann, Big Joe is a Paddywagon Legend. Joe has expertise on all tours, and has trained many great Tour Guides over the years. His patient and relaxed style makes him much loved by his groups. He also loves to guide private groups around the entire country.

• 

• John F

  
  

  Position:
  Big Bad John!
  
  Biography:
  John is usually found singing on a Day Tour from Dublin! He loves Kilkenny with a passion like no other guide. He has an amazing eye for taking great photos, so make sure you ask him to help at the Photo-Stops!

• 

• John Reagan

  
  

  Position:
  Tour guide
  
  Biography:
  

• 

• Lee

  
  

  Position:
  Chieftain of Room 202!
  
  Biography:
  Lee is a real character from South Dublin. He is often found guiding our 3 and 6 day tours. His love of reading Irish History books late into the night has led him to be the man to call with any historical questions. He loves Room 202 as it has a better reading lamp than any other room in Ireland.

• 

• Mark C

  
  

  Position:
  Tour Chieftain
  
  Biography:
  Mark loves guiding all our Day Tours from Dublin. Mark has some great songs and stories to share, and is the most photographed of the paddywagon Team.

• 

• Mark R

  
  

  Position:
  Senior Chieftain!
  
  Biography:
  Mark enjoys guiding our longest tours around Ireland. mark has been guiding for many seasons, and loves to take tours off the beaten track when time allows. Mark has the best set of songs on his ipod in history.

• 

• Matty

  
  

  Position:
  Trooper
  
  Biography:
  The Trooper is a Paddywagon legend. Matty is known for his great sense of humour and entertaining tours. Often found on tours to the Cliffs of Moher, but leads all tours when time allows.

• 

• Richard

  
  

  Position:
  Driver
  
  Biography:
  

• 

• Shaun M

  
  

  Position:
  Chieftain of Connemara
  
  Biography:
  Sean is a Kerryman from Tralee. He guides all our tours with great enthusiasm and is one of the most popular members of our team. Famed for his steady approach, he always gets rave reviews. He especially loves guiding tourists around the Connemara region, and has a great knowledge of turf cutting.

• 

• Fergal

  
  

  Position:
  Cork Chieftain
  
  Biography:
  Fergal leads all the Day Tours from Cork, a very popular guide, with a relaxed guiding style.

• 

• John - JK!

  
  

  Position:
  Chieftain of Shannon
  
  Biography:
  An accomplished tin-whistle player, John is very popular with his passengers. He loves guiding the Ring of Kerry tour, as well as leading Private Groups of a historic nature. He lives near Shannon Airport, and rumour has it the Airport Staff just give him a wake up call when his passengers are collecting their bags!

• 

• Kevin

  
  

  Position:
  Tour Chieftain/HR Guru.
  
  Biography:
  Kevin is a veteran Guide on our Day Tours from Cork. When not driving the Paddywagon, Kevin is a volunteer Ambulance Driver for the Order of Malta. You are in safe hands with Kevin!

• 

• Mike K

  
  

  Position:
  Chieftain of Clare
  
  Biography:
  A professional Banjo player, Mike has the best knowledge of traditional music in Paddywagon. Mike loves to guide all our tours, and can often be found leading our Dingle Day Tours. Mike is also a great singer, and has been known to perform a song or two for his groups!

• 

• Paul B

  
  

  Position:
  Chieftain of Kinsale
  
  Biography:
  Paul is a true Cork man, from the banks of the River Lee. Paul loves the scenic town of Kinsale, and can often be found on our kinsale tour. Paul guides all our Day Tours from Cork, and is loved by passengers for his friendly guiding style. He has a great knowledge of Irish Sports, and has won a few trophy's in his time.

• 

• Paul H

  
  

  Position:
  Chieftain of Ballydesmond
  
  Biography:
  One of the most experienced Paddywagon Guides, loved by all the Clann. Paul leads our Day Tours in the South West region. Ask him about the time the elephant escaped from the circus!

• 

• Sean K

  
  

  Position:
  Cork Sean
  
  Biography:
  

• 

• Charlie

  
  

  Position:
  High King
  
  Biography:
  A Dubliner with Cork/Limerick heritage and a native Gaelic speaker. Known to the many Gaelic speakers in the company as Cathal, and his many friends around the globe as Charlie. His previous adventures have found him leading safaris in Africa. A classical singer, the Clanns best dancer and once an escort in the world famous 'Rose of Tralee' Festival. Also a qualified chef, and by popular demand cooks the Christmas Dinner for our Christmas Tours each year! Responsible for driving the company forward, orchestrating our award-winning business strategies and developing the company. When needed he guides all our tours - a true all rounder.

• 

• Dermot

  
  

  Position:
  Airport Warrior
  
  Biography:
  Dermot is one of our team that will welcome you on our Free Airport Shuttle! A Dubliner with a wealth of knowledge about the city.

• 

• Steven

  
  

  Position:
  Night Warrior
  
  Biography:
  While others Sleep, Steven is responsible for making sure the Paddywagon's are all in the right place for the next morning! Stephen can be found in all corners of Ireland, from Tuam to Tullamore, making sure everything runs smoothly.

• 

• Tom

  
  

  Position:
  Airport Chieftain - Carlow Tom.
  
  Biography:
  Tom is our only employee from the majestic County Carlow. Tom loves to welcome people to Ireland and is part of the Airport Shuttle team. Tom also guides our Day Tours from Dublin, and especially enjoys taking private groups to the Aran Islands.

• 

• Vlad

  
  

  Position:
  Airport Chieftain - Chieftain of Chester
  
  Biography:
  Vlad is much loved by all his passengers. He welcomes many passengers when they arrive in Ireland with a smile, as he is one of our team that takes care of the Free Airport Shuttle. Vlad also brings many happy private groups to destinations all over Europe. He especially loves to stay overnight in Chester, as he loves the history of the area.

• 

• Guest Drivers

  
  

  Position:
  Part Time Superstars!
  
  Biography:
  Paddywagon is not just a Tour Company for our staff, it is a clann or family. Many of our former staff have moved on to different parts of the world, into many different careers. When fate allows, some of these fine guides come back and make a cameo appearance! You might be lucky enough to tour with Wee Joe, Tom or Marty! We cant keep them away.

• 

• Office Support Team.

  
  

  Position:
  The A Team
  
  Biography:
  The office A-team is based in both the centre of Dublin, and the heart of Cork. They are extremely competent, industrious and accommodating individuals. They are on hand seven days per week. While our respected rivals sleep, they are there for you. Maria, Lorcan and Tony lead the Dublin Team. Hamster, Eileen, Dan, Andy and Laura look after our Cork customers.

Our Office A-Team hold the fort in Downtown Dublin. With great enthusiasm and panache they ensure all administration, tour operations and marketing functions are executed to the high standard we guarantee you.

The Paddy's Palace Team look after our crown jewels - our budget accommodation centres - Paddys Palace Dublin and Paddys Palace Killarney. They have years of experience as travellers and in accommodation management, you are assured of a luxury, clean, safe, relaxed, and thoroughly enjoyable environment.

They are without doubt Ireland's number 1 team, to be sure, to be sure! The Driver/Guide's story motto: "Truth on our lips, strength in our limbs and purity in our hearts " Our motto is the actual motto of Na Fianna, The High King of Ireland's elite bodyguard until the 4th century AD, led by the near legendary Fionn McCool.

• 

• Tourism Ireland Awards 2004

  
  

  Irish Minister for Tourism, John O'Donoghue presenting the award for their 'outstanding contribution to Irish Tourism' to the 'Paddywagon Staff' at a gala ceremony attended by over 200 people in the Randy Leprechaun Pub/hostel, Dingle Peninsula, Dec 2004

• 

• ITW London, 2004

  
  

  Most enthusiastic staff award

• 

• Worst Dressed Award

  
  

  Cathal (charlie) and Steve Mc received the companys annual worst dressed award for their efforts whene the yrepresnted us at Melbourne cup in Australia in 2003. The general consensus was Irishmen do not belong in suits (unless Pierce Brosnan), stick to your sexy paddywagon green fleece tops lads....

• 

• Derry City Council Best Tourism Initiative 2008

  
  

  The jewel in our collective of hostels throughout Ireland - Paddys Palace Derry - was the winner of the 2008 Derry City Council 'Best Tourism Initiative' for our 'absolute passion displayed in bringing tourists to Ireland's most historic city. Steve McPhilemy and Charlie O'Connell from Derry Palace attended the glittering awards ceremony and had the honour of receiving their award (made from the famed city of Derry crystal) from the Mayor of Derry himself.

The Clann (Gaelic for family) began in 1997 with Cathal, Big Joe and Belfast Joe. Soon destiny brought Pol and Colm to the fold. Then the Northern triumverate of Doctor Martin, Joey and Stephen McP were initiated into the brotherhood.

Down through the years Clann Paddywagon has grown and bonded together, united in our passionate and overwhelming love of Ireland and our ambition to ensure you feel for our beautiful motherland as much as we do, to ensure the independent traveller wins again! And again and again ...

Some of our brothers and sisters have moved on to other adventures, travelling and working in other lands just as our Irish forefathers have done (and have had to do) for centuries. Legendary Tour leaders like Belfast Joe, Big Mark, Trooper Hayes, Liam Moloney among others are to be found in many far flung places and are with us in spirit. On reading this many of our old friends reading this are surely pausing to remember great Irish holidays with these great people ...

The History of Ireland is one of immense tragedy and poignancy of epic proportions. The fascinating and complex nature of our rich history continues to attracts millions of students and readers on an annual basis.

During our tours our guides will impart to you their knowledge of Ireland that has been earned through both academic pursuits in our fine education system and also a knowledge passed from generation to generation. They will do it in a way that reflects their passion for the subject and enables you to understand the issues and events which have shaped the Irish people into what they are today.

By taking a North and South tour with our company you are certain to encounter the following basic tenets of Irish History.

The Pre-Christian era: You'll hear of the great cycles of Irish legends. A time when our green land was ruled by Warrior Poets, seductive Queens and fiery Giants. The pagan people of Ireland who have influenced us most were the Celts. We proudly see ourselves as being the only Celtic Nation State in the world. But on your journeys you'll pass dolmens, burial chambers, stone circles. Remnants of a time when ancient advanced races like the Tuatha de Danaan or the Formorians built masterpieces like Newgrange in the plains of Royal Meath, whilst the Celts were still only a tinkle in someone's eye in central Europe.

The Viking era: Arriving in Dublin you'll straight away experience Viking Ireland. The Vikings invaded us from Norway and Denmark in the eighth and ninth centuries. They changed Ireland forever by building towns and introducing currency. On our sound systems or microphones you may hear the Ballad 'Irish Ways and Irish Laws', the chorus of which laments 'then the Vikings came around, they turned us up, they turned us down, started building boats and towns, they tried to change our living'. But the Vikings were beaten by the Irish Celtic armies of the High King Brian Boru, Lion of Ireland at the Battle of Clontarf outside Dublin in 1014. They soon became immersed into the Irish nation.

The Normans: Two centuries later more capable military men of Scandanavian origin came to our shores in search of conquest. The Normans had been in England since 1066. They reached Ireland, invited by warring rival Irish Kings, in 1169. With their longbows, large swords and chain mail, the mounted Norman cavalary were the Panzer battle tanks of the medieval field, cutting Irish Celtic armies to shreds left right and centre.

The Irish as always began to fight back and through diplomacy and intermarriage, the Normans became 'more Irish than the Irish'. Fitzgerald and Fitzpatrick are examples of Norman names. Youll see their fine castles everywhere, none finer than Kilkenney Castle on our southern tours.

The English: In the 1500's the Gaelic-Norman aristocrats and powerful barons were worrying the centralised monarchy in England. So began the conquest. Henry 8th began the task, his daughter Elizabeth finished it in 1601 with the Battle of Kinsale. The full on period of this conquest was 1592-1601, when the Gaelic Catholic chieftains of the North fought valiantly and often brilliantly against the invading Elizabethan armies in the 9 years war. When the war was over the proud distraught Chieftains fled to their ally in Imperial Spain most never to return.

This is event is know as the flight of the Earls and is an event you'll often encounter in song, poem and conversation in modern Ireland. With the war in the north over and Ulster conquered, the English crown set about a process of colonisation know as the plantation of Ulster, whereby thousands of tough, hard working lowland scots protestants were brought to Northern Ireland and given the confiscated Catholic land. These people are the ancestors of the protestant loyalist/British community youll be introduced tastefully on our Northern Tours.

Oliver Cromwell arrived in 1649 to finish off any resistance that was still simmering, and our country was decimated. A large percentage of Irishmen were sent as slaves with Africans and Highland Scots to the plantations of Jamaica and other Islands In the Carribbean giving birth to the phrase 'the Black Irish'.

Another phrase you'll hear is 'the fighting Irish' after the American Football team. In 1688 Catholic and Jacobite Ireland showed where the inspiration for this term came from by joining with deposed King James II of England in his struggle with Protestant King William III of Orange. William was Dutch and had just assumed the crown of England. After a fascinating campaign the superior protestant armies of William routed the Jacobites at the Battle of the Boyne on the 12th July 1690. The Orangemen of the North still commemorate this event during the summer marching season.

To the present: William's victory paved the way for total English domination over Ireland. After the failure of the Republican rising of 1798 the Act of Union in 1801 brought England, Scotland and Ireland together as one country. The Union Jack was born.

No mater which tour you go on youll be sure to hear our guides talk about and visit sites relevant to our biggest national disaster the Great Famine of 1845-49. Our population was cut by over 4 million, an estimated one million starved to death, due to a potato blight and the prevalent government policies of the day.

Web-Editor note: I recently discovered the following masterpiece text in the annals of our good friends at Independent Holiday Hostellos Ireland. I believe even the Paddywagon intellect cannot surpass it, therefore I have gained their kind permission to place it on our site for your enjoyment as well as ours.

There are many, many myths about Ireland, some of them wholly untrue, others based on actual people, events and situations, but all of them entertaining. Use this handy guide as a quick introduction.

Leprechauns
For many (except people who actually live in Ireland) the Leprechaun is the quintessential Irish icon. They are said to have magical powers, the ability to uncover secrets, and to hoard great treasure. Pots of gold, ends of rainbows, "to be sure," and all that. At all, at all.

Faeries
Conflicting legends have the Faery-folk as mildly mischevious little people with cute wings (pretty much like Tinkerbell from Disney's Peter Pan), and as terrifying demons who inhabit a sort of alternative dimension.

Saint Patrick
Legend has it that Saint Patrick is responsible for banishing all the snakes from Ireland. He must also have banished all the newts and other similar amphibians, because such things do not feature (and probably never did feature) in the Irish ecology.
It was also believed that Saint Patrick also banished all the spiders from Ireland, until contradictory evidence was published in 1834 by Dr. R. T. Templeton. What people thought those scary eight-legged creatures were before then is probably another myth in itself. Another myth about Saint Patrick is that he once changed King Veretius of Wales into a wolf.

Banshee
Supposedly, a female spirit whose appearance heralds the death of someone close to the observer. The Bean Siedh (literally, Female Spirit) is traditionally dressed in white, wailing constantly, and generally appears at twilight as a young woman with long, unkempt black hair and green eyes, dressed in a white shift.
The Banshee is one of the most persistent Irish myths, and it's pretty safe to say that every Irish person knows someone who knows someone who claims to have seen or heard one.

Adh Seidh
Similiar to the Banshee, the Adh Seidh are spirits that are only seen by people who have an unclear conscience. They appear as either beautiful women who lure the evil to their destruction, or as sleek, terrifying black horses with red glowing eyes.

Finn MacCool
Said to be one of Ireland's greatest warriors. Finn studied under an old man who spent many years attempting to catch The Salmon of Truth, which according to legend would bestow ultimate knowledge on the first person to consume its flesh.
The old man finally did catch the salmon, and set it cooking over a fire. Finn was told to watch the fish, but not to eat any of it.
As Finn watched, a large blister appeared on the salmon. Finn reached out and burst the blister with his finger, but the fish was hotter than he'd expected, and burned his finger. Finn instinctively put his finger in his mouth, thus gaining the ultimate knowledge.

The Children of Lir
A girl and three boys, who were turned into swans by their jealous stepmother. They were cursed to spend nine hundred years on various lakes in Ireland. When the spell was finally broken, time caught up with them, and they became three old men and one old woman. They requested to be baptised before they died, and were buried together.

Cú Chulainn
Acording to legend, Cú Chulainn was raised by four wise men who named him Setanta, and taught him warfare, magic, poetry and wisdom. He was offered the choice of a long life or fame, and he chose the latter. The wise men predicted that Setanta's first and last feats would involve killing a dog.

At the age of seven he was playing with a ball and stick when he was attacked by a large dog. Setanta threw the ball into the dog's open mouth, choking it, then beat it to death with his stick. At the end of his life, he was badly wounded, and washing himself in a stream when he saw an otter drinking the blood-stained water. He killed the otter, fulfilling the second part of the prophecy, for an otter was also known as a 'water dog'.

The Giant's Causeway
This unique formation of hexagonal pillars was long believed to be an entrance from the land of the humans into Tír na Nog, the land under the sea.

Morholt
A giant who fought Tristram (of Tristram and Isolde fame) with a poisoned spear. Tristram suffered badly in the battle, but managed to win by cutting off the giant's head.

The Fomorians
A race of evil demons who according to legend were the original inhabitants of Ireland. The Formorians were undefeated until the arrival of the Fir Bolga, who were in turn conquered by the Tuatha dé Danann. Scottish myths have the Fomorians as a race of relatively peaceful giants.

Myths about the Irish People
All Irish people are called Paddy, have red hair and freckles, a fiery temper, a terrible thirst and seventeen siblings. Our surnames are all "Mac" something or "O" something. We're also expert dancers and know all the words to all the Irish songs. The movie "The Quiet Man" brilliantly captures the character of the Irish people. Or maybe not ... Let's tackle those preconceptions one by one.

Drink
It's not true that all Irish people are terminal drunks. There are some Irish people who do not drink, and who say that they never will. And I can vouch for the veracity of this statement, because I personally know both of these people. No, but seriously, in a recent study of alcohol consumption Ireland came nineteenth out of all the countries in Europe.

Of course, the quality of Irish whiskey (or "whisky" as some people spell it for no known reason) is legendary among connoisseurs, particularly in Ireland. There are also beers that seem to export rather well. The most well-known is probably Guinness, a very black drink that has a white foamy bit on top. Legend has it that anyone who can drink eighteen pints of Guinness in one sitting will be badly in need of the toilet. Other popular exports are Smithwicks and Murphy's (and if the latter's ads are to be believed, Murphy's was a favorite tipple of twelfth-century Samurai).

Irish wines are not well known in other parts of the world, but they are beginning to gain a reputation, especially those of the world-class winos Ernest and Julie O' Gallow.

Ireland boasts a large number of public houses (or "pubs", as people call them for convenience, and occasionally due to inebriation), in which alcoholic beverages are served. Most pubs have two sections: The Bar and The Lounge. Tradition has it that drinks are a little cheaper in The Bar, because the sawdust is easier to replace than the carpets in The Lounge. Older tradition had it that women were not allowed to drink in The Bar, but this all changed about thirty years ago when some canny publican spotted that women had money too.

Red Hair and Freckles
Okay, so many Irish people do have red hair, mainly due to the copper in the water, a leading scientist recently said. However, there are a lot of Irish people with black, brown, blonde, gray or missing hair. There are even a few who claim to have hair coloured "auburn" or "strawberry" or "silver", but they're only fooling themselves.

As for the freckles ... Many people may not be familiar with freckles, so here's the opinion of a well-known dictionary:
freckle, n.
1. a small brownish spot on the skin: a localized deposit of the pigment melanin, developed by exposure to sunlight and cabbage. Freckles generally disappear as one gets older (or maybe they all just grow into each other... It's pretty much the same thing). You can tell how old an Irish person is by counting the freckles. The formula is quite simple: (Number of freckles / height in millimetres) x (number of teeth2 / Pi). The difficult part is the counting, because even those freckles below the neckline must be included, and if you know someone well enough to count all their freckles then it's probably easier to just ask them how old they are.

Paddy
A friendly abbreviation of Patrick, or, more rarely, Patricia or, rarer still, Brian. The general conception is that all Irish men are called Paddy. Of course, this is not so. Well, maybe in some parts of the world Irish men are called Paddy, but that's not necessarily their name. Other common Irish names are Mick (often pronounced Michael or Mike) and Seamus (pronounced "Shay-mus"- it's Irish for James). Unlike in the movies, Irish women are rarely called Colleen, which is an anglicised spelling of the Irish word for "girl", cailín.

As with any country, names are subject to fashion: after the 1990 World Cup a lot of newborns were named Jack, after the Irish soccer team's manager Jack Charlton. There are also a lot of Irish people in their early teens called Bono or Enya. In fact, there's even a ten-year-old boy called Van Morrison O'Reilly who goes to school with my cousin, The Edge.

The Fiery Temper
Not true. Irish people are very laid-back, and can put up with a lot of grief before losing their temper. However, we do tend to be quite excitable, which is not always the same thing.

There's an old joke about a linguist who visits Ireland on a holiday, and while he's here he notices how calm and placid everyone is. So he strikes up a conversation with an old man in the local pub, and says, "Tell me, is there an Irish equivalent of the Spanish word Mañana?" Well, the old man sits back, sups at his pint, thinks for a bit, and replies, "Yes, there is, but it doesn't have the same sense of terrible urgency."

Seventeen Siblings
Okay, so this sort of thing was true at one point. The large families came about hundreds of years ago when Ireland was a tremendously poor nation with a very high child mortality rate: having a lot of children meant a greater chance of the family surviving. Plus, of course, contraception was (and still is) forbidden by the Catholic Church. Back in those days, when times were bad and people were poor, a son was regarded rather more highly than a daughter, on the grounds that a son would be more likely to find work, and that a daughter meant a dowry. Upon the event of the arrival of a new-born, a typical conversation between two neighbours might go something like this:

"Did you hear? Mrs Murphy had her baby!"
"Jaysus, that's grand altogether! Is it a boy or a child?"
"It's a little girl."
"Ah, sure they're young still, they can always try again."

Mac, Mc and O'
The prefixes originate from the time before surnames, when a boy would be given a first name, and known as "first name, son of father's name." Mac or Mc is abbreviated from the Irish word for son. For example, Eamonn McKenna means "Eamonn, son of Kenna." Similarly, the "O'" prefix means "of". The Irish translations of everybody's name puts an "O" at the beginning if male, a "Ní" if they're female and not yet married, and "Uú" if they are or have been married. This rule can be applied to everybody on Earth, with the exceptions of Madonna (no last name) and The Artist Formally Known as Prince (too complicated).
Traditionally, the first-born son in an Irish family was named after his father, so in early times there were probably a lot of Padraig O'Padraigs around. Subsequent sons would be named after uncles, grandfathers or famous people. Daughters were always called Mary, after Jesus's mother, or after one of the female saints. Actually, they probably weren't called "Mary", but the Irish version, Maura (or some other variation on the spelling).

Irish Music and Dancing
Studies have shown that there is often a direct link between a country's national style of dance and the common sexual techniques of that country's people. Bad news for Ireland if that's true then, because our national dance style involves a bunch of men and women in skirts keeping perfectly still as their legs flail about all over the place.

Executed well, Irish dancing can be spectacular: observe the impact Riverdance has had throughout the world. Local dancing tournaments and such, tend to be a little more subdued, but no less skilful when perpetrated by experts.

Irish music has also come a long way in recent years, again popularised by shows such as Riverdance. The "Trad" sessions that take place in pubs and clubs around Ireland are much less formal affairs, often offering the amateur a chance to perform with some very gifted musicians and singers.

Unlike in the movies, Irish people are not terribly prone to spontaneously belting out a couple of verses of "Oh Danny Boy" or "The Fields of Athenry" when the mood takes them. Of course, that all depends on which pubs you visit, how drunk everyone is and whether there's a wake on at the time.

The Quiet Man
An entertaining fantasy film set in an imaginary country called "Stage Ireland", so it is, yer honour, to be sure.
Begorrah.

Bus & Rail Information
Bus Átha Cliath (Dublin Bus) 59 Upper O'Connell Street
Tel: (01) 873 4222. Fax: (01) 703 3177

Bus Éireann
Central Bus Station (Busáras, beside Paddys Palace Hostello)
Store Street
Tel: (01) 836 6111. Fax: (01) 873 4534

Iarnród Éireann (Irish Rail)
35 Lower Abbey Street
Tel: (01) 836 6222. Fax: (01) 703 4690

Climate
Ireland's climate is influenced by the relatively warm waters of the Gulf Stream and by the prevailing southwestern winds from the Atlantic. This combination results in an equable climate with temperatures fairly uniform across the whole country.

Coldest months
January and February with mean daily air temperatures of 4 to 7 degrees Celsius.

Warmest months
July and August with mean temperatures of 14 16 degrees Celsius.

Sunniest months
May and June, averaging five to seven hours of sunshine per day.

Average annual rainfall
800-1200mm (31 to 47 inches) in low lying areas
750mm (30 inches) in some Eastern areas
1500mm (59) inches in parts of the west
2000 mm (79 inches) or more In mountainous areas

Goverment
The Republic of Ireland is a parliamentary democracy with two houses of parliament, an elected President who is head of state and a prime minister (Taoiseach) who is head of government.

Northern Ireland is part of the UK (the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland) and is governed directly from London. In 1998 the Good Friday Peace Agreement was signed which established the New Northern Ireland Assembly. This Assembly is now in operation. It has assumed most of the daily functions of Government for Northern Ireland. The first time devolution has operated since 1972 when the government collapsed due to the upsurge in inter-communal violence.

Ireland consists of four provinces which are broken down into 32 counties as follows:

ULSTER: Cavan, Donegal, Monaghan (all in the Republic), Antrim, Armagh, Derry, Down, Fermanagh and Tyrone (all in Northern Ireland).

LEINSTER: Carlow, Dublin, Kildare, Kilkenny, Laois, Longford, Louth, Meath, Offaly, Westmeath, Wexford and Wicklow.

MUNSTER: Clare, Cork, Kerry, Limerick, Tipperary and Waterford.

CONNAUGHT: Sligo, Mayo, Galway, Roscommon and Leitrim.

Emergency Services Telephone Numbers
Should you need the emergency services (Fire, Police, Ambulance or Sea/Air/Mountain/Cave Rescue), they can be contacted free by dialling 999 or 112 (in the Republic of Ireland). On answer, state which service you require, wait to be patched through to that service, then clearly state the location of where the assistance is required.

Police
In the Republic of Ireland the law enforcement entity is called the Garda Síochana (Guardians of the Peace), with both male and female officers known as Gardaí, Garda singular. Northern Ireland's police force is called the Royal Ulster Constabulary (RUC), although it has recently (Jan 2002) changed its name to the PSNI, Police Service of Northern Ireland, as part of the Good Friday Peace Agreement.

Disabled Visitors
Many accommodations and tourist attractions have upgraded their facilities for visitors with disabilities. For more detailed information contact:

In the Republic of Ireland:
Access Department
The National Rehabilitation Board,
25 Clyde Road,
Dublin 4

Tel: ++353 1 668 4181
Fax: ++353 1 668 5029

or in Northern Ireland:
Disability Action,
2 Annadale Avenue,
Belfast, BT7 3JH

Tel No. ++44(0)1232 491011
Fax ++44(0)1232 491627

VAT/Sales Tax Refunds
Visitors returning to non-EU countries can claim back VAT on purchases being brought home. This is refunded to your credit card account or into a currency of your choice at the airport on leaving. Ask when purchasing goods in shops for a tax-free shopping form with each purchase.

Travel Tax
There is £5 travel tax charged usually when purchasing a ticket to the Republic. This does not apply to travellers from Northern Ireland.

Passports and Visas
You need a valid passport to enter any European country. Visas are not required for everyone depending on the length and purpose of your visit. More visa information is available from the Irish Dept of Foreign Affairs at www.irlgov.ie

Customs
Various allowances apply for EU and non-EU residents, and for duty free goods. These are outlined at points of entry and exit. The importation of certain foodstuffs is also prohibited. Check at your departure point for more

Currencies
There are two currencies: the Euro in the Republic of Ireland and Sterling in Northern Ireland. Some areas near the border can operate on a dual currency basis. In Northern Ireland it is very common for the banks to issue their own notes which some people in the UK may not accept due to unfamiliarity.

Banks
Generally, in the Republic of Ireland the banking hours of business are Monday to Friday from 10am (10:00) to 4pm (16:00), though some banks do close for lunch, from 12:30pm (12:30) to 1:30pm (13:30). Most banks open late one day of the week (Thursday in Dublin). The TSB has later closing times: 5pm (17:00) and 7pm (19:00) on Thursdays. In Northern Ireland, banks in main towns are open 9.30am-4.30pm Mon-Fri. Elsewhere, some may close from 12.30-1.30pm. In small villages, the bank may not open every day, so get cash in bigger centres. Building society banks are open longer (and, often, on Saturdays).
Almost all banks have twenty-four-hour ATM machines, and many of these can accept major credit cards. Contact your credit card information line for more details.

Foreign Exchange
Foreign exchange bureaus are available in most banks, post offices, Tourist Information offices, airports and in some shops and accommodation. Bureau de Change kiosks are also situated in many towns and most cities. If in doubt, secure enough local currency before travelling out of urban areas. While Traveller's Cheques are accepted in many major hotels and restaurants, it is advisable to check with those establishments first.

Tipping
Hotels and restaurants often add 10-15% to the bill, especially for large parties. This is not mandatory in the Republic of Ireland but is normal and of course, tipping is always appreciated. Tipping in pubs is unusual except for table service.

Credit Cards
Visa, MasterCard and Eurocard are accepted practically everywhere in service and retail outlets. Diners Club and American Express cards are also accepted by many outlets. Maestro and EDC (European Debit Card) are accepted in most places which accept Visa and MasterCard.

Most credit cards can be used in ATMs, especially the Bank of Ireland and Allied Irish Bank ATMs, except for American Express which can be used at Cashere machines. Eurocheques have a limit of £140 punts in the Republic of Ireland and £100 pounds sterling in Northern Ireland.

In the event of your cards being lost or stolen you should call the following numbers as appropriate.

Card Type
From Republic
From Northern Ireland

American Express
1-800 709 907
01273-696933

Eurocard/Mastercard
1-800 557 378
0800-964767

Visa
1-800 558 002
0800-895082

Diners Club
1-800 709 944
0800-460800

Calls to 1-800 numbers are free within the Republic of Ireland.
Calls to 0800 numbers are free within Northern Ireland.

Exchange Controls
There are no exchange controls in Ireland. Any sums of money in any currency can be freely brought into or taken out of the country without disclosure or other formalities.

Language
The two official languages of the Republic are English and Irish and most signposts in the Republic are bilingual. English is spoken by everyone while Irish is generally confined to pockets of the southwest, west and northwestern coastal areas, but it can sometimes be heard anywhere. In Northern Ireland the new Northern Ireland Assembly conducts business in English, Irish Gaelic and Ulster-Scots.

Using the Phone
Ireland offers a extensive modern digital telephone service. Public telephones have two systems, cash and callcard. Phones in the Republic take one or the other but not usually both, whereas in the North they can take both. Some additional phones can take credit cards. Callcards can be purchased in many shops, all post offices and phone centres.

In the Republic of Ireland for operator assistance for numbers within the Republic dial 1190, for numbers within Britain and Northern Ireland it is 1197 and for other international calls, collect calls, booking calls and other enquiries, it is 114.
In Northern Ireland operator assistance for numbers within Britain is available by dialling 100 and 155 for international calls. Directory enquiries can be reached at 192 and 153 for international enquiries.

The tones used Ireland are a continuous high pitched tone as a dial tone, a repeated double beat tone (burr-burr) for the ringing tone and a high pitched, broken tone (beep-beep-beep) for the engaged tone.

Electricity
The Republic of Ireland operates at 220V at 50Hz and 230/240V 50Hz in Northern Ireland. The electricity supplied is AC and plugs generally conform to BS1363 for 3-pin plugs except for shaving sockets which support most common international variants and are two-pin.

Alcohol
The legal age limit for the consumption of alcohol is 18 years.

Sunrise/Sunset Times
In mid-winter the sunrise times are about 8am (08:00) and sunset times about 4pm (16:00). During mid-summer, sunrise is at about 5am (05:00) and sunset at about 9:45pm (21:45).

Winter/Summer Times
From the last week of March to the last week of October Ireland is on GMT.
From the last week of October to the last week of March Ireland is on GMT + 1 hour

Health
You should check that your health insurance coverage is adequate, especially if coming from North America. EU citizens are entitled to free public hospital treatment but should obtain an E111 form prior to departure. Health certificates are typically only necessary if you are arriving from a country where yellow fever is present. Some countries will require you to announce yourself to officials on arrival if you have been in contact with farm animals prior to arrival.

Where we are situated on Mother Earth

Position
Ireland is 51.5 degrees and 55.5 degrees north latitude and 5.5 degrees and 10.5 degrees west longitude. The island of Ireland is just west of the United Kingdom and is the westernmost island in Europe.

Size
Width 170 miles (275 kilometres) at its widest point.
Length 301 (486 kilometres) at its longest.
Total coastline 3,172 kilometres of coastline (1,970 miles)

Area
Total 84,421 square kilometres (32,595 square miles).
The Republic of Ireland 70,282 square kilometres (27,136 square miles)
Northern Ireland 14,139 square kilometres (5,459 square miles)